SERIES ONE:
DEEPENING AWARENESS OF MALE TRAUMA It's so hard for men to deal with trauma and emotional pain. Many believe that if you’re a real man, you’re supposed to “suck it up and move on.” Men experience sexual trauma, emotional trauma, physical trauma, rejection, abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, loss, and even medical trauma. These invisible wounds are damaging, shred self-esteem, and can result in deep emotional issues that affect relationships.
Using male trauma as a base, I talk about and normalize what many men experience yet never discuss. Not surprisingly, some of the most supportive and engaged people I encounter when I speak are women, who have been significantly impacted by unattended male trauma. As a result, I spend a lot of time acknowledging and educating around the impacts of male trauma on women in my series. Additionally, with my extensive experience in working with Native American communities, my black male trauma work and working with other communities of color is woven into this series as well. The truth is that we all, including men, naturally find ways to cope in order to survive traumatic life experiences. This is why I spend time addressing tough issues that most speakers will not. My series will cover coping mechanisms such as pornography addiction, intimacy anorexia®, infidelity, partner betrayal trauma®, and other issues that often result from unattended trauma. Most importantly, I personalize my series with real stories, transparency, and real language that is relatable to most. I also offer real solutions; tried and true methods that offer real help to help people in order to overcome life’s past hurts and present obstacles, and to come out stronger and healthier than ever before. |
VIRTUAL LUNCH & LEARNS WITH MATT BURTON
DEEPENING AWARENESS OF MALE TRAUMA
10-part series
DEEPENING AWARENESS OF MALE TRAUMA
10-part series
Part 1:
Why it's so hard for men to deal with trauma and emotional pain. The myths that men don’t hurt, that men don’t feel, that men aren’t victims of traumatic events and that they only create them simply isn’t true. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how to better understand how trauma impacts men and how women suffer from men’s unresolved trauma.
Part 2:
Men experience sexual trauma. There are over 21 million male survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the United States. This form of trauma deeply wounds men, but very rarely is discussed or addressed. Men’s interpretation of the abuse is different if their perpetrator is a male versus a female. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how to better understand how sexual abuse impacts men and others.
Part 3:
Men experience emotional trauma. Even though it may seem socially acceptable for boys or men to be spoken to harshly, many times those words are abusive and can shred self-esteem and deeply wound. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how to deepen your awareness around the impact of emotional trauma on men, on others, and learn tools to get better.
Part 4:
Men struggle with Intimacy Anorexia®. What is intimacy anorexia®? Why do those that have it use busyness, blame, criticism, and anger or silence to stay distant. Why do they withhold love, praise, spirituality, sexuality from their partners and treat them like roommates? Why do they refuse to share their feelings and control/shame around money? Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about Intimacy Anorexia®, its impact on men, their partners and others, and ways to increase intimacy.
Part 5:
Men struggle with internet pornography addiction. Many male survivors of childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and abandonment choose pornography as a coping strategy as an adolescent. This sets them up for many problems later in life, including becoming addicted to pornography and sex. A national poll of divorce lawyers found that roughly 60 percent of clients reported that internet porn played a significant role in their decision to divorce. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about the impacts of internet pornography addiction and ways to address it.
Part 6:
Partner Betrayal Trauma® is real. It is relational trauma which is created by broken trust, unfaithfulness, and a loss of confidence in your partnership, relationship, or marriage. This trauma can be caused by things like spousal/partner neglect, cheating, infidelity, dishonesty, deception, romantic relationship betrayal, rejection, or other circumstances which cause you to lose faith in your partner or significant other. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about partner betrayal trauma®, its impacts, and how partners can heal.
Part 7:
Men experience physical trauma. Did you know that about 30% of adult men were physically abused as children? Physical abuse can not only inflict pain and harm, but it can be used to dominate and control or humiliate and degrade. The damage caused from physical abuse does not stop when the physical wounds heal. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially physical trauma’s impact on men and boys, on others, and things that can help us heal.
Part 8:
Men experience rejection, abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, and loss. These experiences can leave crater sized holes in us. The brokenness left by divorce, the physical and emotional pain caused by intimate partner abuse, the sting of rejection and abandonment, and the devastation suicide leaves behind are some examples of ways we can experience this. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about their impact and strategies to get better.
Part 9:
Men struggle with grief, and so do their partners. Male grief is real. The societal myth that men don’t grieve is a lie that men and women alike have widely bought into. Many believe that if you’re a real man, you’re supposed to “suck it up and move on.” Partner grief is also real. The loss of fidelity, safety, and financial security. The loss of emotional and spiritual stability. The loss of the life as the partner knew it. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially on how many men view and experience grief and the impact grief can have on them, on others, along with approaches to grief that allow men and boys to grieve and get better. Also addressed is partner grief and how partners can avoid getting into prolonged denial, anger, and sadness.
Part 10:
Men experience medical trauma. Many men spend a lot of time avoiding going to the doctor. So, when they find themselves fighting a newly discovered medical condition, the stress and trauma created by it goes well beyond the physical challenges. Additionally, the roller-coaster of medical trauma often impacts family members, friends, and coworkers. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how medical trauma can impact the identified patient and others. Learn the key determinants of health and wellbeing of men and boys, and learn ways everyone can care for themselves emotionally and physically.
Why it's so hard for men to deal with trauma and emotional pain. The myths that men don’t hurt, that men don’t feel, that men aren’t victims of traumatic events and that they only create them simply isn’t true. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how to better understand how trauma impacts men and how women suffer from men’s unresolved trauma.
Part 2:
Men experience sexual trauma. There are over 21 million male survivors of childhood sexual abuse in the United States. This form of trauma deeply wounds men, but very rarely is discussed or addressed. Men’s interpretation of the abuse is different if their perpetrator is a male versus a female. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how to better understand how sexual abuse impacts men and others.
Part 3:
Men experience emotional trauma. Even though it may seem socially acceptable for boys or men to be spoken to harshly, many times those words are abusive and can shred self-esteem and deeply wound. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how to deepen your awareness around the impact of emotional trauma on men, on others, and learn tools to get better.
Part 4:
Men struggle with Intimacy Anorexia®. What is intimacy anorexia®? Why do those that have it use busyness, blame, criticism, and anger or silence to stay distant. Why do they withhold love, praise, spirituality, sexuality from their partners and treat them like roommates? Why do they refuse to share their feelings and control/shame around money? Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about Intimacy Anorexia®, its impact on men, their partners and others, and ways to increase intimacy.
Part 5:
Men struggle with internet pornography addiction. Many male survivors of childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, and abandonment choose pornography as a coping strategy as an adolescent. This sets them up for many problems later in life, including becoming addicted to pornography and sex. A national poll of divorce lawyers found that roughly 60 percent of clients reported that internet porn played a significant role in their decision to divorce. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about the impacts of internet pornography addiction and ways to address it.
Part 6:
Partner Betrayal Trauma® is real. It is relational trauma which is created by broken trust, unfaithfulness, and a loss of confidence in your partnership, relationship, or marriage. This trauma can be caused by things like spousal/partner neglect, cheating, infidelity, dishonesty, deception, romantic relationship betrayal, rejection, or other circumstances which cause you to lose faith in your partner or significant other. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about partner betrayal trauma®, its impacts, and how partners can heal.
Part 7:
Men experience physical trauma. Did you know that about 30% of adult men were physically abused as children? Physical abuse can not only inflict pain and harm, but it can be used to dominate and control or humiliate and degrade. The damage caused from physical abuse does not stop when the physical wounds heal. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially physical trauma’s impact on men and boys, on others, and things that can help us heal.
Part 8:
Men experience rejection, abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, and loss. These experiences can leave crater sized holes in us. The brokenness left by divorce, the physical and emotional pain caused by intimate partner abuse, the sting of rejection and abandonment, and the devastation suicide leaves behind are some examples of ways we can experience this. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially about their impact and strategies to get better.
Part 9:
Men struggle with grief, and so do their partners. Male grief is real. The societal myth that men don’t grieve is a lie that men and women alike have widely bought into. Many believe that if you’re a real man, you’re supposed to “suck it up and move on.” Partner grief is also real. The loss of fidelity, safety, and financial security. The loss of emotional and spiritual stability. The loss of the life as the partner knew it. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially on how many men view and experience grief and the impact grief can have on them, on others, along with approaches to grief that allow men and boys to grieve and get better. Also addressed is partner grief and how partners can avoid getting into prolonged denial, anger, and sadness.
Part 10:
Men experience medical trauma. Many men spend a lot of time avoiding going to the doctor. So, when they find themselves fighting a newly discovered medical condition, the stress and trauma created by it goes well beyond the physical challenges. Additionally, the roller-coaster of medical trauma often impacts family members, friends, and coworkers. Join Matt as he shares practically and experientially how medical trauma can impact the identified patient and others. Learn the key determinants of health and wellbeing of men and boys, and learn ways everyone can care for themselves emotionally and physically.
"As Assistant Executive Director of an organization that represents state and local directors of the juvenile justice systems throughout the country, I believe that that Matt’s book The Unbound Man provides an interesting, introspective look into how males view and respond to trauma in different ways, which left unaddressed often leads to destructive behaviors that can have long lasting impact on their lives. This is a must-read for not only males who are experiencing or have experienced trauma, but for anyone who lives, coaches, or works with males of any age.”
Wendi Faulkner
Asst. Exec. Dir., Council of Juvenile Correctional Administrators
Wendi Faulkner
Asst. Exec. Dir., Council of Juvenile Correctional Administrators